Posted by: rosanneromero | March 4, 2009

Talk Vs. Walk

I had a nightmare of a morning.  I was looking for school socks in a department store.  I was on my scooter/wheelchair.  Then a mother and son came along  and started sorting through the socks also.  Her son noticed me.  That’s when the torment began.

 He walked up to me slowly with a certain expression in his eyes.  Was it awe? Nah. Admiration?  Double nah!  I’d best describe it as  a  “let’s-see-if-this-thing-here-bites” expression.  Then he poked me a little gingerly on one side.  Then poked harder on the other side.  Then he started kicking the wheels of the scooter. Next he started to give the seat a  heavy shaking.  All the time asking aloud “Ano yan?” and “Ano ka”.

 Can you imagine my face? . Why didn’t I say  “Oh you cute little boy”?  Because: number one — he wasn’t that little.    Number two — he was far from cute.   I barked.  No, not bark.   I roared  “Ano ba?”   I threw an angry look at the mom who just stood there watching us.  Wasn’t she supposed to do anything?  By now he had his hand on the handle and was pulling the bell off.  And by now, a few uzis inched closer to get a better view.  The mother  moved to pull her son’s hand away, and with a sniff, explained her son to me — “Curious lang siya.  Bata, eh.”

 Curious?  I wanted to snarl  “curiosity’s what killed the cat”.  Sigh!  Suddenly, I didn’t want the socks anymore.  Guess what I did?  (Uzis still watching). I flung the socks back on the shelf.  Flung as in threw them.  Most missed the shelf and dropped on the floor. I didn’t care.  I hurriedly left.

 Behind me I heard someone say   “Di ba siya yung writer sa Kerygma”… Nehh —  None of the uzis  actually said that.  My conscience did and hissed it  into my ear all day.  I recalled an anecdote on St. Francis.  He  asked one of his junior monks to go down town to preach.  They walked through the  bigger streets and turned into alleys and mingled with people unhurriedly.  Walking back to the monastery, one  junior monk remarked that they  forgot what they had gone to town for —to preach.

 And St. Francis said something like this:– We did preach.  As we walked around and mingled, we preached  our morning sermon.

 Santabanana!.  What exactly had I preached when I flung those socks back in a tantrum?  What does it matter that I write for Kerygma?  Or that I authored “Amusing Grace”

 There’s something else this St. Francis said.  What a guy.  He gave this instruction to his followers:    Preach the gospel always and  if necessary, use words.  Take note: IF NECESSARY.   Long sigh.  I feel like a bloke.  I grab my prayer journal and scribble

“Dear Lord,

Forgive me,  I blew it again.   As usual,  I beg for mercy.  Don’t give up on me, please?  I should walk my talk.  Because walk speaks louder.  And truer.”

 

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Responses

  1. i understand how you felt and i understand your reaction. if i was part of the uzis who were there, and even if i recognized you as the writer in kerygma, i wouldn’t judge you badly for that incident, and i’m sure most people who have witnessed it felt the same. it doesn’t make you a lesser christian and my respect for you is still the same, maybe even become better…cause you expressed your true feelings and it makes us connect to you more. no pretensions. nobody is perfect, all of us is a work in progress, what’s important is we are striving, not easy but we are trying.

    this is my first time to read your blogs. i’ve come to know it because of tita cathy’s emails to me.for sure i’ll be one of the freqeunts here.

    God bless

    • hi momiG. Thanks for dropping by my blog. It is so encouraging to have people respond to my articles.
      No new posts yet as I’m attending to a couple of things for my family (fam of origin, that is.) are you also in Dubai?

      • yup i’m also in dubai with my 2 yr.old son and my husband jhun.

  2. i understand how you felt and i understand your reaction. if i was part of the uzis who were there, and even if i recognized you as the writer in kerygma, i wouldn’t judge you badly for that incident, and i’m sure most people who have witnessed it felt the same. it doesn’t make you a lesser christian and my respect for you is still the same, maybe even become better…cause you expressed your true feelings and it makes us connect to you more. no pretensions. nobody is perfect, all of us is a work in progress, what’s important is we are striving, not easy but we are trying.

    this is my first time to read your blogs. i’ve come to know it because of tita cathy’s emails to me.for sure i’ll be one of the frequents here.

    God bless

    • i’m so so sorry for this late rely…i missed this one and only found it tonight…eh you wrote it june pa! Really sorry ok. I just finished a course of chemo so am still woozy from the gulpe de gulat.


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