Posted by: rosanneromero | February 18, 2009

Dear Chincha

Dear Rosanne,

My daughter-in-law and I stumbled on an article of yours at her pedia’s. It was about Rinka’s and Becca’s  debate on living and non-living things.   Hahaha. You could write a ‘layman’s read’ book ON children. 

Love,

Cynthia

 Dear Chincha,

That article is ancient. They  were still in grade school when I wrote that.  I’m not qualified to write a book on children.  But,I do  know a few things I could share with your daughter-out-law (who’s  only just begun.)

 Before my first baby came, I hoarded  baby books.  A waste of money, it was.  Kids don’t fall into those neat little molds the experts describe.  I know enough to tell neophyte mothers NOT to bet their life on the Terrible Twos Theory.  Because the  temerity of the Terrible Twos can drag on  way past  the age of two.  That would be the first item on my “Things I Know” list.

 

At  four,  if you warned Rinka  about anything,  her favorite answer was “I know!” along with the patented hand on the hip and half-eye roll.

.And Becca, at four, coined her own words for  common things.  Take scrambled eggs — she called them crumpled eggs.  When I got  a leg brace to help me walk,   Becca insisted the proper name for it was brains. So, whenever I tired out at the supermarket, she would say out loud    “Maaaa—  did you leave your brains again at home?”  People around us,  either looked away or stared at the floor, pretending they hadn’t heard what they just did.

 There is rarely such a thing as a “typical” child   My kids aren’t typical anythings .  They are a mishmash of personas.   Rinka is now 25 and Becca, 22.  Looking back, handling them was mostly a hands-on kind of thing.  Dr. Spock didn’t  have much on handling bruised emotions.  I’m  still doing a self-study on it —  fine tuning my responses as I learn. It doesn’t really  end  anywhere. That’s the  second thing I know:  There’s no  graduation.   There’s no introductory course. There are no electives.  Parenting is not an academic course. It’s a vocation.  It’s a mission.   And above all, it’s a kind of divine appointment.  That is the third thing I know.

 Someone once  shared a  line from a church encyclical  that said   children are a means to sanctification.  There you have it!  That’s supposed to help you understand why they are  difficult.  God sent them to purify you.

 Which ushers in the fourth thing I know.  It’s  my secret delight:  They’ll have their turn.  All things being equal?   Nod, nod,  Yesssssssss.  They’ll have their turn. (gloating is so much fun)   Ahhh…but I digress.

  The fifth thing I know has to do with me.  Psalms 139 talks about  being fearfully and wonderfully made.   As much as I know   Psalm 139,  I also know that I am wonderfully flawed.   I don’t want to be flabbergasted if my girls tell  me that they have issues with me. I will not revel in it; but I pray that I meet  such awkward exchanges  with humility.  And because humility is not my forte, I beg  God for grace!  I pray that both my heart and  mouth be able to say “Please forgive me” without the melodrama of soap operas. 

 

I do hope this gives your daughter-in-law a better grip.  Heard she’s just had twins?  This is the sixth thing I know —God gives double portions of grace.

God bless,

Rosanne

 

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Responses

  1. Ay Rosanne….So true! I’m passing this on to my daughter-in-law who is expecting their baby in March.

  2. Hi Rosanne,
    joyful to be touching base with you dear friend. wow becca and rinka are now in their 20s!!! what does that make you?? i have got four crowning glories and they are truly a bunch of joy!!

    Luvlots,
    Becky

  3. i’m a young mom and this article suits me. when my szymon is being his natural self (makulit), I will remember what you said…God sent them to purify you.
    My son will be 3 this aug, and i adore him soooo much, but sometimes it gets tough, being in a foreign country and no MOM to help me, and all. now i know why it’s difficult….thanks

    • oh read this after the other one…so you are in Dubai? Wow, what brought you there? Now while your son is three, akala mo ang tagal pa before he grows up. kala mo lang yun. Too soon, they grow up andthen it becomes an entirely different ballgame.

      • I guess so…you know better than me. We are working here, i’m a medical technologist and my husband is an engineer.
        it’s so nice naman, you have time to respond to our comments, i feel like having an additional friend. thanks and i hope many would discover your site.its inspiring, light-hearted, and personal ang dating, like talking to a friend.
        i hope you’ll find more time and inspiration to write…


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